Miss Holly Velvet is a classically trained dancer who has found her niche in reviving the classic art of early 20th century burlesque. However as most burlesque dancers have, Holly Velvet has spent her time on the pole. We are proud to present to you a candid interview with the dancin darlin Holly Velvet!!!!!
How many years have you been performing? 26
how many were you an exotic dancer? 4
How many clubs have you worked at? 10
What is your favorite term for Vagina? WhoWho is always a good one followed a close second by Meat Wallet.I would say I have a Bearded Clam but I shave that thing.No Landing Strip either. It’s Primo beachfront property South of the Boarder for me baby!
What was the amount of the largest tip you ever received?Some guy gave me $50 once to “slip it in real quick”.I said “Sure baby, just let me use the little girl’s room first.” Slipped the bill in my garter and never came back. A fool’s money and their wallet are soon parted.
do you remember what song you were dancing too and what year was this?Pussy Control by Prince February 14, 2006
What is the best song to strip too? Glamorous by Fergie ’cause, literally, if you ain’t got no money take your broke ass home Mo’Fo! I do NOT have time to waste on your loser ass.
what is the worst?If I hear that Yeah! song by Usher w/ Lil Wayne one more time I’m gonna punch someone!
Tell us about your weirdest customer?What do you mean “weirdest”? They’re all weird, but there was this guy we called Bob The Blower.If you laid on your back and kept spreading your legs he’d throw a dollar on your crouch.If you turned around on all fours to present your ass to him he’d blow on your pussy, the second you’d get near him he’d back up really far…I did a lot of advancing toward this guy.
How many lap dances have you given to one guy in one night? 23.Boy, did my legs hurt after that!
Did you have a lucky outfit? It’s amazing the number of pedophiles out there. I always made bank with the schoolgirl outfit.
Walk us through what usually happens in the champagne room? You convince the guy to get a room.You walk to the bar and have him pay for the room.On the way back to the room he asks “What will we use for protection?” The response “Oh, there’s a bouncer that walks through every 10 minutes or so…” After that statement it was smooth sailing. He kept his hands to himself and I got paid my $125 cut for the room. Life is sweet!
What do exotic dancers do to get ready for work? It’s imperative to take care of your asshole… You do this by dropping him off at band practice before work.
what is your beauty routine? Makeup, hair, outfit, then as soon as the skank next to you goes out on the floor you spray the entire area down with Lysol. Trust me. She’s skanky. She has boils on her face covered by 10 lbs. of makeup, most of her teeth are missing from smoking meth, and if she decides to use the pole you have to carry Clorox wipes with you because she generally leaves skid marks on the pole .Did I mention the rash on her chest?
how do you beat shave rash? Wax or Nair.It’s also possible to use a flogger, but I highly doubt that will make it go away.
What do dancers do when they are on their period? Tuck or cut. You’re choice.
what are some stripper slang terms that dancers use, i’ve heard mention of snatch snot? can you tell us what that is? Twat snot is good. Flashing (moving the thong aside and showin’ the goods).Fried Eggs Nailed to a Wall (saggy titties).Slab of Bacon (severely stretch marked stomach) Makin’ bank (earning monetary goal for evening) Regulars (customers that only come in the club to see you) Parade Girls (girls that would line up and parade around on stage when the DJ was trying to generate more business by encouraging customers to buy lap dances). Strippers On Parade (when you have strippers walking in a line)Educated As Fuck (when some stripper actually thinks she’s smart and she’s trying to pick a fight with another stripper.Used in a sentence: I am educated as fuck!) Gravity Bounce (when a stripper can move across a stage floor using her buttocks) The Reverse Jesus (when a stripper hangs upside down from a pole w/ her legs & spreads her arms out) The Jello Shot (when you get down on all fours and shake your ass. This only really works if you have a big ass.)Floor Work (any type of dancing involving getting down on the stage floor on hands and knees i.e. The Jello Shot) Juicy Girl (girl that gets excessively lubricated easily)Ruff Round Up (group of homely strippers giving a stage dance to some poor victim) Looks Like the Pussy Ate the Mouse (tampon string hanging out of a vagina)
Holly Velvet will be performing at the Obey House this Saturday, October 16th.
Her Show is call: Holly Velvet presents Velvet Cabaret at the Satin Slipper Room. She has brought together amazing Pittsburgh acts including the Comic, Dr. Awkward, Dancin Darlin Miss Bad Kitty, one man band Willis Tree, and the Notorious Lucky The Painproof Man. Go see girls shake their money makers, laugh, see a dude bleed for your amusement and get cheap Straub beers, how can you go wrong?
Holly Velvet Presents cabaret at the satin slipper room
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