Club Erotica
826 Island Avenue
McKees Rocks, PA 15136
Cover: $20, free beer, BYOB
Valet Parking: $5
http://www.girlsofcluberotica.com/
Inspector: Anna L. Pleasure
As we teetered our sexy asses down the crumbling streets of McKees Rocks, my mind raced with images of sweet snatch, dancing dames, and cold beverages. We arrived to a run down building that was littered with bulky, baby faced security guards. We paid a man in a glass booth our $20 and walked through a door and we were transported to an entirely different place. On the other side of the threshold, there was a white flocked columned chandelier lit room. There were three stages, but only enough people for one to be used…but whatever. That just means more meaty morsels for us. I was certain I could make the night enjoyable with free beer, so I made my way to start drinking my $20 worth of Miller Lite. Now I love beer and I love to drink, but the temperature of my beverage is very important for palatability. Erotica provides the cheap thin sort of clear white plastic cups, which turn your beer room temp in a blink of an eye. So I was having a little trouble enjoying my free beverage. I know, who complains about free beer, blah blah blah…I do bitches. Free or not free, I want that shit cold. Don’t judge me. I drank a couple down and we made our way to the beef box. The girls entered the stage topless and walked down a catwalk toward the end. Around 4 girls cycle around the stage. I know here is where I would usually throw in some twat talk and tantalize you with tales of slits and tits. But my loves, the night was boring. Only 2 girls danced for us. Out of the other 10ish girls shaking snatch, half came over and chatted then walked off while the others just ignored us. We were all gussied up in our strip club best and we couldn’t even get a girl to fake flirt with us, rub her tits on our faces, or let us help pay her rent. I wanted to stand up and shout,”SHOW ME THE MINGE” but instead we bailed.
As we teetered back down the long stretch of rocky broken sidewalk, my mind rolled over what the high spots of the night were. The hottest girl there had toilet paper on her crotch and it glowed under the black light. A quality cold cut sandwich with a napkin provided. What do you do in this situation? I didn’t know. I waited and tried not to laugh, ‘cause inside I’m a middle schooler. There was a lot of cunt that had been self tanned so everything lips to labia, taint to toes was an even fake brown. There was a bambi in the bathroom with blonde hair and doe eyes talking like a little kid about a face tick who then scampered off. A Southern accented cougar with a gap in her teeth and nipples that sat at the top of her tits like a party hats. And the epiphany that contortion is not sexy. I’ve been a flexible girl for a long time and know that while practical for fucking, it does not look sexy when you put your legs behind your head. We got in the car and the night was over. We hear it gets nutty late at night. Maybe after we close down and stumble out of some other snatch shack, we will give Erotica a call. She can be our late night last resort bouncing booty call.
As a side note about what to do if your stripper has tp on her twat, I talked to a ex-stripper friend of mine and found out that it’s the same as encountering someone with food in their teeth. You should probably say something.
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